Remember, this is unbeta'd, only spell-checked. Not edited. Not thought
about. Just written as the words came to me, so be easy (but you can
still critique, if you want!)

Um, but in retrospect, I will have to now warn you that there are
spoilers for Sentinel Too and TSbyBS

Experiment Ramblings

Blair Sandburg sat on a cold, wet patch of grass overlooking a sandy
playground. Children yelled and screamed, some with delight, others with
pain. They sky above looked down upon the despondent man, its grayness
reflecting his mood.

Little Children. Childhood. Fun. Carefree. Damn, he missed it. It had
gone by much too quickly. He was getting old now. Just hit thirty. Three
decades and, with each passing year, he seemed to make more of a mess of
both his life and others.

First the Sentinel thing with Alex. Then the dissertation. Then his
academic career. Then the cop thing. The academy. The gun thing. He
hadn't meant for it to happen. It just did. Like all the other things he
never meant to happen. Mistakes. Mistakes he couldn't take back.
Mistakes he should have seen coming.

But he did see this one coming, he'd just hoped it wouldn't come. He
thought *maybe* if he was careful enough and smart enough and alert
enough, it wouldn't happen. But it did happen and now it was another
thing he couldn't take back.

He had shot a cop. A *cop*. One of his own. Now a'days. He was one of
them now. The Thin Blue Line. He stood right on it. Blair Sandburg. A
cop. With a gun.

A dangerous combination.

It had all just happened so fast. The perp had spun around and fired off
three shots. One slammed into the car next to where Jim ducked, missing
the Sentinel's head by only an inch. Blair had let his training take
over and pulled the trigger. He didn't want to kill the guy, but he
didn't want anybody else to get killed either - and he was in just the
right position to take the man out. The perp shifted and the bullet
missed his shoulder by a hair's length. It ricocheted. Ninety-five
degrees later the renegade bullet buried itself into the right shoulder
of Officer Barbri.

No one knew the bullet had come from Blair's gun until the ballistics
report came back. Now he was suspended pending an investigation.

Yep. He ruined one career and now he was ruining another. He was a total
screw-up, not meant for this world. He should have been born somewhere
else. Another place. Another time. Another planet. Maybe with another
set of genes.

Whatever Blair Sandburg touched turned to ashes.

Ashes. Fire people. You think they're alive, but they're not. Just like he
used to think he was alive, but he wasn't. Isn't. Maybe he really did
die at the fountain and all this was just a dying-man's dream. The last
fleeting images of a lifetime filtering through a darkening brain. A
chemical reaction. Instead of seeing a light at the end of a tunnel, he
was living the rest of his hellish life in the span of only a few
minutes. Seconds, maybe.

At least then none of this would be happening. Barbri would be okay, not
laying in a hospital.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him from breathing. Jim.

Always Jim. Always there. Always watching.

"There was a mistake." The Sentinel squeezed Blair's shoulder and
plopped down on the grass next to him. "It wasn't your bullet. The lab
messed up. They dug two bullets out of the wall from behind Barbri.
Turns out yours was one, but the bullet that hit Barbri belonged to the
perp. He must have gotten hit the instant before you fired."

Blair leaned forward. He didn't know what to say. One minute his life
was in shambles, the next it was back again. Just like always. How many
times would he have to go through that? He didn't think he could take
another one.

"You okay?"

He shook his head, buried his face in his hands, and cried silently.
~~~~~~~~~~~
feedback appreciated
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